Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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