so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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