let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
