i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize