I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize