if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
