would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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