You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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