omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize