we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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