u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
