she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
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No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
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my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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