just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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