I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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