She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
