I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
