you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
