i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize