so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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