wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it glows. i had to have it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
