Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
