Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
