it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
