You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
