no, he came in my armpit
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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