Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
