I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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