Yo dont text me then not text me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
