i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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