I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
