don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
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Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
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As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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