It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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