why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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