how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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