I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize