I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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