he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
