The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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