I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
