the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
