So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
