well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
