We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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