just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
