its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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