the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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