I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
