i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
