I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have tasted many bathrooms
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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