he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize