Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize