I wish I could punch you in the face.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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