NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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