I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Randomize
