yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
