How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Randomize
