WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You're like the curious george of whores
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
