you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
