she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
