There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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