you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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