I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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